Lately, Jameson subway ads get on my nerves the most.  I added the lines in bold:

A man who stole my whiskey used the defense that no one could resist a bottle of Jameson.  I had no choice but to testify on his behalf.  Then I had his family raped and his crops razed to the ground.

My golden rule: Treat others as I would treat my whiskey.  Drink them in excess, and then puke them up on a sleeping hobo.

It didn’t take a genius to think of triple distilling whiskey for flavor.  But he’s probably honest, loyal and criminally handsome.  And haggered with years of rampant alcohol abuse.

I once received an invitation to a royal court.  It read: “Your whiskey +1”.  The “+1” was later rescinded.